"Dear Mr. Banjong Pisanthanakun and Mr. Parkpoom Wongpoom,
I had the not too pleasant experience of watching your motion picture "Shutter" this evening, and would like to make the following statement:
Whereas I can tolerate being scared silly (once more) by creepy, pale asian girls, outstanding use of dynamics in sound (I guess you guys listen to Ravel's Bolero a lot), an intriguing storyline and several jump-in-the-seat scare moments, I will not tolerate the kind of colateral damage your movie has caused on my furniture. If you make a movie that's so creepy that it'll make me chew up my pillows and my Ikea sofa's armchairs, you should bloody well say so on the cover.
Therefore, please find enclosed my receipt for the following item:
1 large, comfy pillow (good for sleeping on, resting your back against, or chewing on during scary movies)
I'm expecting you to act responsibly and replace my now chewed-to-pieces pillow within a reasonable period of time.
I don't mind a cheap Thai pillow, as long as it matches my sofa.
Yours,
Bit"
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