Spring theory

My friend M is spending an uncanny amount of time trying to wrap his head around this little thing called string theory. For the uninitiated, string theory is defined on Wikipedia in this simple sentence (ahem):

"String theory is a model of fundamental physics whose building blocks are one-dimensional extended objects called strings, rather than the zero-dimensional point particles that form the basis for the Standard Model of particle physics."

Got that? Good. Now, as complex and dumbfounding as string theory might be, there is one theory that is even more complex and strange - Spring theory. Each year this thing called Spring (heh) arrives here in Norway, and its mysterious ways and perplexing unpredictability continues to catch me off guard. I don't know what Spring is like in other parts of the world, but here it's like a strangely playful and taunting entity - and by "playful and taunting" I mean "childish and annoying". If Spring was a kid, it would be a spoiled 4 year-old with a slight case of ADHD - fueled by too much sugar.

Basically, my typical Spring day goes like this: I wake up, have a look outside. It's sunny, yay! I then proceed to look at the thermometer, which typically shows something like 0 degrees. "Hmm, fair enough. It's probably warmer in the sun." I think to myself, but put on a warmer sweater anyway. I then go outside, only to be greeted with a gust of wind that brings the temperature down to -5 degrees or thereabout. "Hah! See, putting on that extra sweater was a good idea." I loudly proclaim (and usually get some strange looks from by-passers) while awkwardly trying to pat myself on the back. Then, ten minutes into my walk to work, the temperature rises about 15 degrees and my wisely chosen sweater is turned into a instrument of torment as my body temperature rises above my preference. "Oh, well. It could be worse." I say, scaring a little old lady in the process (who then tries to take a swing at me with her umbrella). "Hey, was that lady swinging at me with her umbrella?" I think to myself - seconds before the skies turn dark, relative humidity shoots up to 90% and rain starts pouring down.

So there I am: warm, sweaty and soaked. "Well, this is Norway. No reason to be depressed about the weather." I say to myself - somewhat quieter this time. Five minutes later, the Sun is gone, the wind is back and the temperature is back down to -5 degrees. At this point, I usually let out a small sigh, break off a few icicles off my nose and ears and contemplate moving to Hawaii - but just for a few seconds, because lo and behold! The Sun is back, the ice is melting and my clothes are pretty much dry again. Freeze dried. Not too comfortable, but it works. After this showcase of weather phenomena (which all take place in a 25 minute period of time) I usually arrive at work more or less happy and prepared for other extraordinary things.

Such as my customers.