Shameless plug

Just want to mention that the website/blog for my band, Audiotherapy, is just about up and running now, so if you want to hear the stuff I do with my faithful compadre Terje, head on over there now.

On a side note, mysterious blogs by Mr. Knox and Mr. Matu seems to have materialized too in the last few days. Very strange indeed.

Übergeeky keyboard

Ok, ok, so this is all over the web these days, but what the heck: a good thing cannot be repeated often enough...

Check out this customizable keyboard where each separate key has its own - get this - miniature OLED display!


http://www.artlebedev.com/portfolio/optimus/ - gosh, I want this thing sooooo badly.


I need professional help.

Sonic Charge MicroTonic v2.0 is here!

Oh joy! They've finally updated the Mother of All Drum Machines VST instrument: MicroTonic! Multiple outputs, pitched oscillators and pattern export - this will be soooo much fun.


Well, as you can see I'm pretty psyched abouth this - and not to mention the fact that it is FINALLY coming for Audio Units, yey! - and if you're doing electronic music, so should you. It's dirt cheap too, at $69 (will increase to $89 in the near future). Go get it!

My portable pride

Having a little cash to spare by the end of June, I wasted no time and decided to replace my old desktop PC (affectionately dubbed "The Vaccum Cleaner" due to the somewhat annoying noise it makes after it's been turned on for about 15 seconds) with a nice little notebook (laptop) PC instead. Woot.

After some research, where I among other things discovered that most of the laptops of this world are made in one of two or three factories in the East, I landed on the Quanta KN-1 (sold in Norway by MPX). So, why a whitebox? Well, it's build by the same people that build IBMs, Dells and HPs so the quality is pretty good, the specs are great for the price and the whole thing cost way less than a similar name-brand notebook. MPX has a great warranty deal AND the thing uses bog-standard parts, so should anything wear out/break, I should be able to find spare parts easily.


I've had it up and running for about a week now, and I like it a lot. The screen is good (although at a somewhat limited 1200x800 resolution), the performance is great (Doom 3 runs like, ahem, hell) and it looks like I'll be able to do some out-of-the-studio work on it as well, as soon as I get a proper audio/midi solution for it (something like the M-Audio Ozone).

Still: this thing came in the most dreadfully dull cardboard box with some wording that made it look like a box of soap. As a rough comparison, my PowerMac G5 came in a box that I could have displayed in a modern art exhibition, to great acclaim. And I'm just talking about the outer box.


On a more serious note: My thoughts are with everyone who fell victim (directly or indirectly) of yesterday's explosions in London. I really like London, and I am sad to see this happen.

Something spectacular?

So this sleazy salesman came knocking on my door a few days ago. Well, he wasn't really sleazy as such, just the regular fast-talking, smooth, "this offer is only good today" kind of security system salesman that sometimes come by to test my patience and courtesy. Now, as you might know, I'm a salesman myself (of the good, honest, not-trying-to-talk-yer-head-off kind) and as such I'm not easily impressed by these guys that have no interest in their product, but are simply trying to make as much money as they can. Not that there's anything wrong with that.



However, this time, the salesman of dubious intents had brought along something that caught my eye: a dolled up, pretty blonde girl. "Ok", I thought to myself, "so they'll be using the old two-salespersons-one-customer trick. Better brace myself." However, the guy started his monologue - that's what it was, since I coulnd't get a single word in for the good three or four minutes he talked - and as he babbled on, I kept looking at the pretty blonde waiting for her to step into the ring. Nothing happened. I waited, growing increasingly intrigued by what her role in all of this was. She hadn't said as much as a word the enire time since they rang my doorbell, and I speculated wildly as to what her purpose was: Was she his secretary? His boss? A trainee? Wife? Bodyguard? Some kind of inspector that supervised the guy as he sold these security systems? By the end of his sales pitch I refused - as I always do - to sign anything at the door, but would be happy to read any written information material he might have brought along. Of course, he hadn't brought any.

As they left, I couldn't help but think what might have happened IF I'd actually signed up. I mean, the blonde MUST have been there for a reason, right? Did I miss out on something? Was she part of the deal (the salesman never said so, but still)?

The whole thing reminded me of the ending of "The Twisted World of Marge Simpson", when the mobsters and the Yakuza fight and Marge urges Homer to go inside, and Homer doesn't want to because one of the Yakuzas hasn't done anything yet (a short guy in a white suit) and "when he does, I'm sure it's going to be spectacular!"

Heck, if I had a blonde like that with me at work, no customer would be safe: they would all leave with ridiculously expensive gear they didn't need in the first place. Together, we would rule the music-gear-selling world, and there would be fat bonuses every month.


Alas, such is not the way of the lone salesman.

Sounds like a great deal

Wanda Noel wrote:
From: Wanda Noel
Subject: Re: FYI
Date: June 4, 2005 4:20:54 PM CEST
To: Bit

THIS IS GOING TO BE OUR FINAL NOTIFICATION

We have made an effort to contact you on many occurences and the time to return your reponse is now!
Your current home loan meets the requirements for you for up to a 3.60% lower rate.

However, seeing as our previous attempts to contact you did not succeed,
this will be our final notice to close for you the lower rate.

Please complete this final step upon receiving this notice immediately,and complete your application now.

(some links and stuff)

From: Bit
Subject: RE: Re: FYI
Date: June 4, 2005 9:20:54 PM CEST
To: Wanda Noel

Dear Wanda,

I recieved you e-mail today (strangely enough, none of your former e-mails have reached me) and I must say I find your offer very attractive. Now, if you can actually offer me a reduction of 3.60% on my home loan interest, that is indeed an offer no sane man can refuse. Do you offer this to Norwegian citizens, too? I take it you do, since you have sent me this mail. Surely, a respectable firm like yours would never send an offer of this magnitude to just anyone.

I don´t know how well you know Norwegian economics, but our interest is (for the time being) at an all time low and this brings us to my question (Disclaimer: I´m not very good at mathematics, so bear with me if I got this wrong):

You say you can reduce my rate by up to 3.60%. Now, as I said, the Norwegian interest is at an record low at the time, and my current rate on my home loan is 3.22%. Here comes the brain-twister:

Does this mean that you will actually PAY me 0.38% of my home loan? I mean, my financial situation is by no means bad, but I sure would love to get an extra - let´s see now - 34000 Norwegian Crowns a month (hope I got this right; my loan is roughly 1.08 million NOK times 0.38 divided by 12 equals ca. 34000)! I don´t mean to sound critical, but isn´t a bank that actually GIVES people money for loaning money there going about their business the wrong way? Unless, of course, you CHARGE people for saving money there. That is certainly not the way we do it here in Norway, but hey, we´re a small country in the outskirts of civilization so what the heck do we know?

Anyway, I look forward to your answer to this, and will gladly transfer my loan to you as soon as we´ve clarified this.

Thank you for your time.

Regards,
Bit

"The door is open"

Ok, this is probably just another example of me jumping in late on an internet event, but what the heck:

The Dionaea House

This is one of the better marketing ploys I've seen online in a while, and it's also a great read - heck, I read through the whole darn thing at work today and even in broad daylight it's pretty creepy. I do have a feeling this will eventually be made into a (at best) mediocre movie. Sigh. The potential is there, though.

Anyway, read this in the dark, when you're alone, and I guarantee the goosebumps will come.



Hmm, I wonder if I can learn something from this...?

Hard right, over Crest

(This commercial break is brought to you by.... me)

If you haven't checked out my hard-rockin' amigos (and amiga) in "The Crest" yet, you owe it to yourself to do so now: these days, their long awaited second album, "Vain City Chronicles", hits the streets - or rather, webshops - and if you like melodic, guitar based dark rock (let's stay clear of the somewhat overused "goth"-term) you NEED to give these guys a listen.

You should be able to pick up the CD in respectable webshops like Amazon, CDON and from the Season of Mist e-shop.



They're having a releaseparty here in Oslo, Norway next Thursday, so if you wanna buy me a beer for giving you this indispensable information, I'll be more than happy to oblige.

Look for the guy in a bright, multicoloured shirt among the horde of rockers. I'm kinda easy to spot.

Somebody owes me a pillow

"Dear Mr. Banjong Pisanthanakun and Mr. Parkpoom Wongpoom,

I had the not too pleasant experience of watching your motion picture "Shutter" this evening, and would like to make the following statement:

Whereas I can tolerate being scared silly (once more) by creepy, pale asian girls, outstanding use of dynamics in sound (I guess you guys listen to Ravel's Bolero a lot), an intriguing storyline and several jump-in-the-seat scare moments, I will not tolerate the kind of colateral damage your movie has caused on my furniture. If you make a movie that's so creepy that it'll make me chew up my pillows and my Ikea sofa's armchairs, you should bloody well say so on the cover.

Therefore, please find enclosed my receipt for the following item:
1 large, comfy pillow (good for sleeping on, resting your back against, or chewing on during scary movies)

I'm expecting you to act responsibly and replace my now chewed-to-pieces pillow within a reasonable period of time.

I don't mind a cheap Thai pillow, as long as it matches my sofa.

Yours,

Bit"

Birds, commercials and crap dance music

To the person(s) who got the idea for the music for the new Mentos commercial (the one with the birds):
I know that reviving the "No Limits" tune by 2 Unlimited (sic) might have seemed like a good idea at the moment. It's catchy. Maybe even infectiously so. The young 'uns haven't heard it before and think it's cool. And I'm sure that if you chew enough Mentos, you'll feel like there's no limit to what you can do. Or possibly the ad agency O.D'ed on Mentos when they came up with the idea. Whatever.

Now hear ye: bringing back that song is much like what Dr. Herbert West did in Re-animator - and nothing good will come of it. That foul thing is dead and should remain so. I don't know what unholy ritual you performed to bring it back to life, but you crossed the line, man. What you have done, you will eventually pay for. Oh yes.

However, since it's my birthday today and I'm feeling generous, I'll give you a couple of days headstart before I hunt you down and play you "Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil" until you beg me for forgiveness.

Fear me, for I am Geek. And happy birthday to me, dammit.

Shiny things

I like shiny objects. Shiny objects and blue LEDs. In particular, I like the shiny object that is my PowerMac G5. It looks good (outside AND inside), it plays well and it darn well feels good, too. I installed a second internal harddrive in it today, and had to contemplate for a few minutes just to grasp the beauty of it: all I needed (except for the drive itself) was right there.

On my PCs, installing a second harddrive usually meant getting the disk, finding some screws, fidgeting with the drive bay to fit the disk, realizing that the IDE-kabel didn't reach it, repositioning the drive (often accidently unhooking some innocent looking cable somewhere in the process, wreaking havoc on my setup later on in the process), realizing the disk was set as master, desperately searching for the miniscule plastic jumper that got lost in the process, restarting, formatting and Bob's your father's brother.

Now, the same procedure, G5 stylee: get the disk, get the four screws that are conveniently placed next to the drive bays, fasten these on the disk, put the disk into the bay (which then simply locks the disk in place), fasten the S-ATA and power cables (which, once more, where conveniently placed just below the connectors on the disk) - et voila! - Disk installed. I'm telling you, this should be a frickin' standard on ALL PCs, Macs or otherwise. I'm really starting to like my Mac.

My brand new livingroom floor looks pretty shiny as well, although it's not brushed steel and hasn't got any blue LEDs.

Yet.

Ambivalence

Finally got (most of) my floor back today (I had a small waterleak in February), hopefully the carpenter will finish it by tomorrow so I can spend the weekend putting stuff back where it belongs. Can´t wait! It´s been a total mess around here for the last couple of months and I´m fed up with it.

On a happier note, I got my first PHP/MySQL based website up and running yesterday, and I feel quite content. It went much smoother than expected, and was pretty much like installing and setting up a CGI-script. Cool.

Tomorrow is the last day at work for one of my coolest co-workers, after 6 years it feels a bit weird (and sad). Not so cool. That´s life, though; nothing stays the same forever.

I think this is as deep as I´ll get this week.

Ouch

I got a much needed full night of quality shut-eye and woke up feeling fully restituted from the weekend brouhaha. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and therefore I arrived at work...

...with a total b*tch of a headache. Go figure. I had to retreat to the lunch-room for half an hour two times today, just to gather the strength to get through the day. Of course, with an in-store humidity of about 20% and a temperature of about 25 degrees Celcius, a headache is bound to happen now and then. It´s so darn dry in there, that I can hear the acoustic guitars scream in pain as their necks slowly and inevitably curl up into banana-shaped pieces of wood.

Feeling better now, but still a little groggy. Don´t know why. But I´m certain that a good two or three hours of Monday night quality TV will set things straight; "Scrubs" at nine, "24" (season 4) at nine thirty and my favourite guilty pleasure, "Smallville" at ten thirty (hey, Buffy has ended, ok?!).

At least my head will hurt for a reason tomorrow.

Getting motivated is tiresome

Back from a two-day retailer/distributor weekend conference, and I feel a bit exhausted. There have been a couple of very nice seminars in motivation technique and sales/customer treatment, and I´ve seen some new products from the distributors. Nothing exiting, really, just the bread-and-butter stuff that makes the wheels go round.

Best thing was probably getting faces to go with all the names I see and voices I hear on the phone every day; there was a moment of equal surprise at the bar last night when I bumped into one of the guys I buy goods from on a regular basis - we were both sure the person on the other end of the line was some 40 year old and not a guy in his (late) twenties! Good to see there aren´t TOO many grumpy old men in my line of business, we need some (relativly) young upstarts as well.

Very, very tired now, gonna hit the sack early tonight, methinks.

A Jazzmutant ate my Mind!

Ok, this is just sooooo cool: The Jazzmutant Lemur, a poly touch-screen based controller unit made by some wacky French guys! Now, this might seem like a silly thing at first glance, but for those of us who indulge in electronic music escapades and aren't keyboard virtousos it could open up a heap of sweet live manipulation possibilities for our software synths and sequencers...

...IF we could afford one. At 2000 Euros (what's that, 2600-700 dollars?) it is pretty much out of my price range, at least for now. Also, it doesn't transmit MIDI, but uses the OpenSound protocol. A "translation layer" will of course solve that problem, but I still get the feeling this is made for the Max/MSP crowd and their close followers. Fine with me, but it does bring up images of über-artsy soundscape/noisescape artists waving their hands around the surface of these things, impressing a crowd of well-dressed, wine-sipping, silently head-nodding twenty-somethings who are simply BEYOND the boring restrictions of rhythm and melody.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Music of the day

Being a music freak, I tend to pester my surroundings whenever I discover some (more or less) obscure band, mailing links to everyone I know, waxing lyrically about it at work, over coffee, at parties - I´m sure you know the type. Lately, I´ve made two such discoveries: Mandalaband and Evil Nine. I stumbled unto Mandalaband in a funny way; one of their songs was used as the theme song for a Norwegian TV series that just about every kid (well, every kid in their late twenties) know about (click here if you´re Norwegian). I´ve always loved the song, but not been able to figure out just who made it - I always believed it was composed specifically for the series by some Norwegian musician. Well, a couple of weeks ago I finally found the man behind the music, and bought the wonderful "The Eye of Wendor" album - an hour of late 70s prog-rock bliss! Good stuff.



Evil Nine on the other hand, I found on the highly entertaining I-am-bored website (or was it Kontraband?): a wickedly cool breakbeat romp with a nice flash-animation to boot - how could I resist? Their "You can be special too" album is on its way to me as we speak. I found tasters of all tunes on the album over at Beatport, in case anyone wants to check them out.



Reading through this, I realize my musical taste may appear as slightly eclectic. Rest assured, it is.

I want a Nord Modular G2! (Thank you, Sweden)

I really, really do. Speaking to a friend and fellow music gear geek today made me realize just HOW much I desire one of these babies. Now, those of you out there who lead normal lives (bless you) may not know what a Nord Modular G2 is, and I don´t blame you. However, a short briefing may be necessary. The Nord Modular G2 (or just G2, as we affectionados call it) is a Swedish digital modular synthesizer, made exclusively to make synth geeks like yours truly breathe heavily, drool a bit and then enter an almost vegetative state as we ponder the endless possibilities for making strange, burbling noises with this $2500 red-and-black device.


Then, we check our credit-card balance and cry for a while. This process usually lasts for anything from a couple of weeks to a year, depending on our financial situation and will-power. Fittingly, coming from the land of the real Borg, resistance IS futile and we WILL be assimilated. Pun intended.

I´d like to take this moment to thank Sweden for the wonderful things they´ve given us, including (but not limited to): Ikea, meatballs, Clavia, the Chef in Muppet-show, some sweet Amiga demos and music, Astrid Lindgren, cheap meat (it´s a Norwegian thing). Oh, and that Nobel guy was pretty cool, too. Take a bow, Swedes everywhere!

Hello, World!

Ah, yes. So they got to me at last, all the "What, you don't blog? And you call yourself a geek? Tsk tsk." people. Okay, now I'm here to change the World of Blogging, to rip through the foundations of reality, to tell you what the Matrix REALLY is. Or not.

Anyhoo, since it's pretty slow at work today (hey, I found time to set up my blog, didn't I?) I've spent way too much time at I-am-bored, KVR Audio and waiting for the new The Crest site to go live. Oh wait, that's what I do everyday. Oh well.

Now, since I really haven't blogged before, you'll have to live with my more or less meaningless drivel for a while. Hopefully I'll get better at things as time goes by, but don't hold your breath.